Hello from the bunkers

You are wondering, why am I sending a message from a bunker. Well I'll get to that soon enough, but let me give you some other info first.

Lets talk about China, the great big nation known for "communism." If you've read the news lately, you should know that China had "harassed" a U.S. Navy ocean surveillance ship (USNS Impeccable) by getting close to it and throwing debris near it. The story is actually pretty funny once you read it, which could be found here: click the linky or from a quick search on Google. Heres a direct quote from that said site, "In response, Impeccable sprayed water out of fire hoses at one of the vessels, but its crew members stripped to their underwear as their ship "continued closing to within 25 feet," the Pentagon said."

Wait, hold up now. STRIPPED TO THEIR UNDERWEAR whilst being hosed down?

Now, I'm usually not one to judge, but isn't that a bit, in the least, weird? Perhaps the crewmen of the ship wanted a quick bath from staying out from shore so long, or perhaps they liked being hosed by a water hose. None of that really matters. What really does matter is that, China has claimed that this was their territorial waters, while the international law has claimed it as international waters. But none of this stuff is fun to talk about, and if you do want to talk about it you can go speak(write) about this on some internet forum or so.

Now, to make this news a bit more fun, I went ahead and researched a bit about the USNS Impeccable and why the Chinese ships may have wanted to to harass it. My search led to this:


Now who wouldn't want to race through that huge hole in the middle of the ship? Or perhaps some of them were drunk and saw it as this:



GASP a huge metal shark, boy were they smart to throw some debris in the way to stop it from destroying the mainland. Those Chinese are awfully honorable to sacrifice themselves to stop this evil evil shark from the U.S from destroying their home.

But in all seriousness, this soon escalated to the point where president Obama is now sending armed escorts for future surveillance ships in that area. What does this mean?

Well of course it means, get ready for the upcoming war! If you're in the states, go to your nearest Home Depot, and get yourself one of those handy dandy bomb shelters. For others, try to make one yourself like i did or go dig yourself a big big hole. Then stock up on lots and lots of pop-tarts, you're gonna need it.

FORT GUNWOO


And that is why I am hiding in my bunker, just to get ready for the great war to come. Yes, these 4 inch thick walls of feather and wood is designed to keep me safe from nuclear radiation that is almost sure to come. Once the planet is devastated by war, I shall rise out of the ashes and soon conquer the world. And you too can join me, for i shall need many many minions to do my bidding. Act now, or spots will be filled much too quickly. There already is a 1 month waiting list and you don't to risk it any longer.

So now my friends, I bid you farewell, as i will be no longer emerging out of my bunker any more. Instead i shall send a robot designed to look and feel like a real person to go to school and do everything else, while i stay in safety. Perhaps you'll hear of me from my blog, perhaps not. I wish you all of luck, and I shall see you soon again, after the nuclear war.

How to make Ramen (the basics)

Don't let the title fool you. I'm not gonna help you make ramen. I'm going to help you make great ramen. Perhaps the best in the world, after mine of course. But you ask, why do I need to learn how to make ramen? Simply because, if you don't know how to make it, you absolutely can not call yourself a man. (an Asian one at least) If you're a girl, and you can't make it, men will look at you with much hatred.

Now you say, Oh its just pouring water into one of those special plastic cups. If you were here right now I would have instantly slapped you in your face. It's not, and you're thinking of cup ramen, the worst type of ramen you'll probably ever find. If you think price wise, sure they're great and all, but quality wise, its just crap. So to help you, here's a short quiz. Which one looks better and seems like better ramen? Left picture or right picture?


If you picked right, you haven't been reading this at all. You suck and I wish I could hit you. It's time to be reeducated.
If you picked left, congratulations, you don't suck. Now the thing is, do you know how to make it? If not, read the my step by step guide to learn how. If you know how to make it, still read it because my way is probably better than yours.

First of all get yourself some ramen. Open it up like so:

Next get a nice pan pot thing like the one here:

Raid your fridge for anything you could throw into your ramen. Get an egg too. Example: 2 eggs and some ham rolled in cheese.

Fill up your pan pot with water, it can be sink water if you want, but i've got filtered. (ATTENTION: Ignore what the package says about water, go with your instincts just not too much or too little. It all comes to you as you make more and more.)

Boil water and watch. Or pretend you're watching NASCAR. Both will bore you unimaginably.

As soon as water starts to boil put that ramen noodle in. DO NOT BREAK unless your pan pot thing is abnormally small.

Throw rest of the stuff in there. (save stuff that doesnt have to cook until the end like cheese)

Stir carefully. Note if you put an egg in there, you have 2 options. Option 1: break the yolk and make the soup less spicy and more creamy like. Or Option 2: stir carefully so you do not break the yolk. Both ways are fine.

As soon as you see the eggs done, get yourself a bowl. Or if you don't feel like it, just eat it straight off the pot. (If you didnt put eggs in, WHY DIDN'T YOU? Oh well, you'll just have to decide whenever then.

Throw leftover things in, add whatever you want, just don't go overboard.

EAT


(pics down edits to come)